Slideshow image

This blog post is Part 6 of a series entitled, "(re)born to Lead" by Pastor Jeffrey Dean Smith of Donelson First in Nashville, TN. 

Message Date: November 13, 2022

Click here to view this message!

 

Even though it was 35 years ago, I’ve never forgotten the words read about myself at our Senior Banquet. My “word” means everything to me. I was truly crushed when my honesty was questioned.  

One who is consistently dishonest will never attain a high level of godly leadership.  

It won’t happen. Jesus, when speaking of telling the truth and sticking to your word, put it this way:

Matthew 5:37

All you need to say is simply ‘Yes’ or ‘No’; anything beyond this comes from the evil one.  

Simply say ‘yes’ or ‘no’ (Greek) = to speak with sincere honesty

Am I one who speaks with sincere honesty? Have you ever been dishonest? If you are saying “no” right now, you are being dishonest. There are moments and situations when dishonesty gets the best of us. However, such times should be few and should never be something we excuse. I am convinced that:

If (re)born New Testament leaders passionately and wholeheartedly pursued honesty in every arena of life, Christianity would be much more appealing to a lost world.

Honesty, though not always easy to accept, is always best to receive. No one has ever said, ever: “I want you to lie to me.” Yet each of us has been in life situations where a spouse, family member, friend, or co-worker has exclaimed: “Be honest with me. Tell me the truth!”  

Now...this can be a little tricky when a loved one says, “Tell me...does this outfit make me look fat?” Or, in my case, be honest... “Am I going bald?”

People are led astray when dishonesty leads the way. Marriages are led astray when dishonesty leads the way. Churches are led astray when dishonesty leads the way.  

The world is desperate for authentic leaders who lead well with honesty.  

A (re)born New Testament leader is: 

1. Willing to surrender

2. Loyal

3. Ambitious

4. A Servant  

We see that each of these attributes of leadership really is more about “me” and less about the people whom I lead - - more about the way I live & love & surrender to be more like Jesus! For me to be the true (re)born leader God desires requires me to examine key areas of my life and to ask, “In what ways can I improve in these areas so that I lead others well?”  

Church, I ask you to do this today as we consider attribute #5:   

5. Honest  

Effective leadership will always require me to examine the ways in which I lead for the sake of others.  

As a follower of Jesus Christ, you have an ordained call on your life to lead. This is exactly what Jesus called His Christ followers to do in His final moments on planet earth when He told them in Matthew 28 to “go!” Now, Jesus did not use the word lead. However, the call He gave was one that empowers and implores Christians to be leaders of light for this lost world.  

Leading does not matter if one doesn’t lead another in a direction that it is worthy of following.  

I’m going to make 5 statements. With 4 of 5 of these statements, I’m being honest. With 1 of these statements, I am being dishonest. You have to decide which is dishonest:   

1. After college, I modeled for a while and appeared in the Martina McBride cover song video for the Movie Runaway Bride.

2. I co-wrote the song I Will Magnify which appeared in America’s 100 Best Worship Songs Songbook.

3. While singing in Florida in 1995, I fell off the front of the stage and broke my right arm.

4. I was hired by the US Army to preach on all Army bases throughout the countries of Panama & Guatemala.

5. In high school, I was in a Pepsi-Cola commercial that partially paid for my college tuition at Belmont University.  

Which one?

3. While singing in Florida in 1995, I fell off the front of the stage and broke my right arm.  

I can adamantly tell you this: No one wants to follow one who is dishonest.  

Therefore... Should not the attributes of leadership always be guided by our desire to point others to Jesus? I believe so.  

I believe one of the best ways we can do exactly this is through the leadership attribute of honesty. So, let’s jump in!  

The Psalmist wrote in Psalm 116:11: …in my alarm I said, “Everyone is a liar.”  

The Bible states that you & I are natural liars! Again...   

This is a really tough reality to accept. But it’s true: My natural inclination as a human is to lie.  

I thought about this passage for a while this week. And it led me to ask, “Why? Why are we, at times, dishonest?” People are dishonest for many reasons. And would you agree... the more one is dishonest, the better one gets at being dishonest!  

You know, there is always a reason behind dishonesty: I am dishonest to:

1. Get what I want. Get something I haven’t earned or take credit for something that I did not do.  

2. Avoid what I deserve. Punishment. Get caught. Consequences.  

3. Not hurt someone. Telling a “white lie” so as to not crush another’s feelings. But, what about this...  

4. To honor God. Now, before you throw me out of the church today, I want to explain. And I do so by first asking you to answer this question:  

Is there ever a time when dishonesty is okay? I have struggled with this question for some time now. I only want to mention this briefly. But, as we always do here @ DF, I too want Scripture to lead our times of teaching. I want to make a comment that, from what I see in Scripture, is accurate, but is also difficult to process & navigate:

It is possible for me to love the Lord, serve Him faithfully, and yet, in extreme life situations contest evil by intentionally being dishonest.

Let me show you 2 quick instances in the Bible that highlight such rare & extreme life situations:

The first example involves a time in Exodus 1 when the Egyptian Pharaoh makes a horrifically terrible decision to minimize the nation of Israel by killing all newborn male babies.

Exodus 1:8-10; 15-21

Were the Hebrew women truly vigorous in giving birth before the midwives actually arrived? Possibly. Possibly not. Regardless, such a statement from the midwives was in effect a lie. Pharaoh was led to believe something that was not true – a falsehood.  

Look at Verse 17: “The midwives feared God...”

Now look at Verse 20: God blessed the midwives with families of their own!  

Let me give you another example: Joshua 2:1-7  

So Joshua sent two men to spy on Jericho. The King of Jericho found out where they were. He sent a message to Rahab asking for the men, and she lied. If we were to read on in Joshua, we would see that this woman believed in God and prayed that her family would be spared when Jericho came under attack. Look at what Hebrews 11:31 says about Rahab:  

By faith the prostitute Rahab, because she welcomed the spies, was not killed with those who were disobedient. Hebrews 11:31

Hebrews confirms that the actions of Rahab were a result of her faith in God. These midwives in the book of Exodus, though dishonest to Pharoah, are blessed because they chose to fear the Lord and not murder newborn males. And Rahab, though dishonest, displayed great faith in God by protecting God’s men.  

Now, let me also make this clear: I do not see that Scripture explicitly approves of these lies. However, it is clear that in these two extreme life situations, both the midwives and Rahab are blessed because they remained loyal to the Lord.  

Again, I see that Scripture conveys:  

It is possible for me to love the Lord, serve Him faithfully, and yet, in extreme life situations contest evil by intentionally being dishonest. Again, this has been a struggle for me on how to teach about this critically important leadership attribute of honesty for the (re)born leader.  

I want us to move on because where I want us to land, and place our focus, is on the overwhelming and overarching emphasis we do see in God’s Word as it relates to honesty: Dishonesty is never commended by God.  

Let’s see exactly this as we dissect what Scripture has to say about honesty:  

Proverbs 12:19 Truthful lips endure forever, but a lying tongue lasts only a moment.  

Proverbs 21:6 A fortune made by a lying tongue is a fleeting vapor and a deadly snare.

Proverbs 12:22 The Lord detests lying lips, but he delights in people who are trustworthy.

Proverbs 20:17 Food gained by fraud tastes sweet, but one ends up with a mouth full of gravel.

Revelation 21:7-8 Those who are victorious will inherit all this, and I will be their God and they will be my children. But the cowardly, the unbelieving, the vile, the murderers, the sexually immoral, those who practice magic arts, the idolaters, and all liars—they will be consigned to the fiery lake of burning sulfur.  

Scripture cannot be clearer on the matter: 

Dishonesty is not something the Lord takes lightly. Neither should I.  

In the cases of the midwives and of Rahab, don’t let these unique life situations cloud your decisions when faced with the choice, to be honest or dishonest. I think, if not careful, one can deceive themselves into believing or justifying their dishonest actions as “okay.”  

James 1:26: Those who consider themselves religious and yet do not keep a tight rein on their tongues deceive themselves, and their religion is worthless.  

In the book of Jeremiah, the Prophet spoke of the deceitfulness of humanity. At the core of this deceit…a lack of honesty:   Jeremiah 9:3-6  

Honesty is such a critical attribute for the (re)born New Testament leader. But honesty seems to be in short supply these days, does it not?  

In Jeremiah, the Prophet of God is speaking of those whose words cannot be trusted.  

I understand this analogy. Because wouldn’t you agree… one has to truly focus to lie.  

Any bow hunter knows the focus and preparation needed to successfully arm, aim and shoot using a bow and arrow. It doesn’t just happen. Shooting with a bow takes tremendous practice, skill, troubleshooting, determination, and a good eye. One doesn’t master this skill easily. It takes work!

Jeremiah is likening shooting a bow and arrow to the skill of being dishonest! Meaning – the one being dishonest gets better and better at such deceitfulness, the more one exercises such a way of living and leading. Consider this:

What is more difficult? Telling the truth or telling a lie? Is it easier to be honest or dishonest? It takes much more work, focus, and intentionality to be dishonest, would you agree?  

We read earlier in Psalm that we each have a natural inclination to be dishonest. Jeremiah takes this a step further here in revealing dishonesty is a learned process.  

Jeremiah 9:5 “They have taught…” - - This is a learned process of developing the attribute of dishonesty....meaning, the more I am dishonest, the better I get at being dishonest. And what is the end result?

Jeremiah 9:6 The dishonest one refuses to honor the Lord.

Jeremiah 9:8  

You see here that the reason for our dishonesty isn’t one's mouth - - it is the deceit of the heart.

My first kiss did not go so well. It was 4th grade. Recess. Patty Funk was on the swing. I thought she was looking rather lovely on this particular day...I came up behind her and reached around and kissed her. Patty Funk then stood up, turned around, took a swing, and blacked my eye!

Proverbs 24:26: An honest answer is like a kiss on the lips.  

What an interesting analogy... that honesty is like a kiss on the lips.  

Why a kiss?  

I do not believe that I have ever spent as much time thinking through one verse as I did with this verse this week.  

A kiss can be amazing – romantic. A kiss can create chills. A kiss can be indescribable. At other times – it can be messy. Shocking. Unexpected. But such a kiss is never not intimate and not special.  

There are times when a greeting can consist of a kiss on the cheek. Such a kiss usually indicates friendship, or a family relationship, to comfort someone, or, in some countries, to show respect.  

But a kiss on the lips...this is something truly different!  

Consider: What if I walked up to you and kissed you on the lips today? But with my wife Amy, of course, this would be normal and beautiful.  

Think about the first thing a married couple does after saying, “I do.” They kiss!  

With every marriage I have preached, I have concluded the ceremony by informing the groom, “You may now kiss your bride!” Why? Why a kiss? Because there is nothing more pure, more noble, and more honest than two families, two life paths, two people, and two lives becoming one… sealed with a kiss. A kiss says, “I am here forever. I am not going anywhere.” A kiss says, “I am yours.” A kiss says, “I can be trusted.”

What truly makes this statement in Proverbs so vibrant is in knowing from whom this verse originates.  

In our study earlier this year, A Summer of Wisdom, we learned that it was King Solomon who penned the book of Proverbs. We also learned this about the King - - he had many, many wives! When King Solomon penned these words, he had 700 wives & 300 concubines. Here is a man who had been intimate with many, many women. Possibly, King Solomon knew more women intimately than any other man to have ever walked the planet. However, when Solomon speaks of honesty, he makes no mention of sexual intimacy. He doesn’t compare honesty to such intimacy. Instead, he compares it to... “a kiss.” Why do you think this is?  

Well, to call it for what it is - - sexual intimacy at times, can just be sex. It should not be. God made and gave this gift to us, and it is to be something far more than just the act. But to some, possibly even Solomon having so many wives, the act can sometimes just be the “act.”  

But a kiss, a true kiss on the lips, is something altogether more. Would you agree?  

When two people kiss on the lips, it is intimate & an authentic statement and mantra of true love.  

Even to a couple married for many years who kiss on the lips. Such a kiss is a reminder, should be a reminder, of the unity and the oneness of a relationship founded upon truth and honest trustworthiness so many years ago. 

There are only three other times in the Bible when we see this Hebrew word for a kiss:

Exodus 4:27: The Lord said to Aaron, “Go into the wilderness to meet Moses.” So he met Moses at the mountain of God and kissed him.

Ruth 1:9: May the Lord grant that each of you will find rest in the home of another husband. Then she kissed them goodbye, and they wept aloud.

1 Samuel 20:41: After the boy had gone, David got up from the south side of the stone and bowed down before Jonathan three times, with his face to the ground. Then they kissed each other and wept together - but David wept the most.

In each of these instances, we read of close, genuine, friends expressing their love for one another:

Aaron to Moses.

Naomi to Ruth.

David to Jonathan.

This word is one reserved for special, intimate relationships that go beyond sexual intimacy. People were asked in a survey about intimacy:  

What is more special, kissing someone with my eyes open or with my eyes closed? Which answer came out on top?

The answer: Eyes open.  

When you kiss someone on the lips with eyes open you are seeing them – staring into their eyes. You are as close as you can be – Eyes wide open. Vulnerable. With no inhibitions. And... honestly giving them all of you. This is true honesty!  

As a (re)born leader, I lead well when I look another in the eye and speak the truth.

I believe Solomon understood the honesty behind such an idea. Therefore he writes:  

Proverbs 24:26: An honest answer is like a kiss on the lips.

What if we were to be a church, so to speak, “who kisses lips eyes wide open” - - a church who speaks words that are true, just, and honest?  

A church that is less concerned about being politically correct or socially tolerant. Instead, we are simply a church who speaks with honesty no matter how difficult such honesty is to hear by the world!  

Honesty is not always an easy attribute to apply for the (re)born leader. Being honest requires one to say things that aren’t always easy to say and can be even more difficult to receive.  

Let me offer 4 final statements on honesty:  

1. Honesty is always honorable.

For many, honest criticism feels more like a punch than a hug. We hate to receive it, we cower to give it, and we easily excuse withholding it.  

Even when we speak honestly to those whom we love the most, it can be awkward and difficult, not only for the one speaking, but too for the one who feels like they’ve just been given a verbal gut punch.  

You may think that by being dishonest that you are protecting another or protecting your relationship with another. But you are not.  

2 Corinthians 8:21: For we are taking pains to do what is right, not only in the eyes of the Lord but also in the eyes of man.  

Momentarily, it may be painful, to be honest with another. Especially when what you need to say isn’t something necessarily easy to hear.  

Proverbs 12:22: The Lord detests lying lips, but he delights in people who are trustworthy.    

2. Honesty is always better than dishonoring God.

It can be hard, to be honest.  

Telling the truth, no matter how hard, is always better than dealing with the fallout of a lie.  

Think about it – if you were to ask me to give you an honest answer and I lied to you to protect your feelings…you might feel better in the short term. But eventually, you will find out the truth. And when you do, what then will you think of me? You would conclude that I am a liar and I cannot be trusted. Therefore, I would be dishonoring you and our relationship.  

“Well Jeffrey, if I tell someone the truth, I might hurt another’s feelings.” True. You might. But listen, listen:

I will never regret telling the truth. Because telling the truth, no matter how hard, brings honor to God.  

When I lie to protect another’s feelings or to try and protect my relationship with this person, what I am really doing is saying:

1. I don’t love you enough to tell you the truth.

2. God, I don’t trust you enough to tell others the truth.  

When you tell the truth, you never have to worry about repercussions or consequences from God!    

3. Honesty doesn’t require me to always speak my mind. Just because I have something on my mind doesn’t mean it needs to pass through my lips.  

Proverbs 21:23 Those who guard their mouths and their tongues keep themselves from calamity.  

Proverbs 29:20 Do you see someone who speaks in haste? There is more hope for a fool than for them.  

Leading with honesty does not mean I have to comment on everything.  

Today’s culture...thank you social media!...has convinced us that we must comment on everything and comment about everyone.

There are times when I need to make a comment on something that has brought me under conviction. When this happens, I should speak. But look Church:

I should not disguise a personal opinion as a spiritual conviction.  

Embracing honesty doesn’t give me the freedom to fly at the mouth just because I don’t like something I see, or don’t agree with something I see someone else doing. This is why we must hold onto this final thought:    

4. Honesty’s close companion must be holiness.  

Proverbs 15:2 reminds us that: The tongue of the wise adorns knowledge, but the mouth of the fool gushes folly.  

If I am pursuing holiness, then my honesty will be aligned with the heart of God. I have learned this as a leader:

There are times when honesty hurts.  

The more I am honest, the more people learn to place trust in me. So when the time comes for me to be brutally honest, the hope is that I’ve earned the trust of those I am having to hurt.  

As I continue to pursue holiness, my honesty will be aligned with the heart of God.       

__________________________________

Jeffrey Dean Smith is a husband, father to Bailey & Brynnan, author, and the Senior Pastor at Donelson First in Nashville, TN. If you are in Music City, meet Jeffrey and enjoy iced tea on the front lawn each Sunday at 10:30a.